My heart feels a void and it is broken. After a year long battle with cancer, Zaida passed away on Monday night. Even though I knew the day would arrive someday, there was no way to be prepared. When we started this journey, the thought of having my baby for an additional year was something that was far fetched. Zaida was first diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukemia and early this fall, after our move, she was diagnosed with lymphoma. After receiving the news that she was out of remission and diagnosed with a different type of cancer, we knew the time we had left would be limited. The chemotherapy drugs toke a toll on her body. Chemotherapy in dogs is still very experimental. 7 Weeks ago we did our last round of chemotherapy. We didn’t know at the time this would be the last round but after much consideration and the advice from her oncologist we decided more time was better than risking negative side effects of the chemotherapy.
On Monday I woke up to a very sick baby. She was miserable and unable to move around. After a call to the oncologist, I had no choice but to take her to the ER vet and see what they could do. My gut told me the results we would get would be bad. Matt was at work and I called him sobbing. He left work and rushed home and we took her together. After multiple tests we couldn’t figure out why she was losing so much blood. After blood work, we determined that her entire body was in the process of shutting down. We were not given many options. We could have done a blood transfusion and left her in the hospital for a couple days or we could end her suffering. (The blood transfusion would have only give us a couple more days with her). We decided to have them give her fluids, pain medication and we would take her home. They let us go outback to the room were she was being treated in. She looked at me and I knew she was done, the fight was over. The amazing staff at the ER helped us arrange a vet to come to our house on Monday night. We felt that having her come home with us would make her more comfortable and not scared. It was the best decision we could have made. She was surrounded by both of us for roughly 3 hours and when it was time to say goodbye, she was at peace and laid her head down; she was ready.
The journey with Zaida taught me more than I ever thought I would learn at my age. She was my best friend. She never once gave up on me and when she got sick, I promised her that I would never give up on her, we were in this together. She was a goofy, lovable and gentle soul. She had a will to live and this was evident the many times she entered an extreme low and our options were limited for treatment. She fought so hard to stay alive. She would always great me by kisses and cries regardless of how long I had been gone. She kissed my tears away when life got rough and could read me better than anyone else in my life. Over the past year, Zaida taught me how to selfless and to be strong when deep down I felt weak. She taught me that even when you feel like you can’t keep going that you can’t give up. My heart hurts and I know that it will for a long time. Matt and I both feel a void in our home and in our family. We will always love our baby girl more than anything.
Photo Credit: Jason Grantham
Photo Credit: Jason Grantham 
Photo Credit: Jason Grantham 
Photography Credit: Darryl Ann Girardin – Salt & Pine Photo
Snow was her absolute favorite!
Photo far left- The day we found out she had cancer
A round of Chemotherapy
Family photo credit: Jason Grantham 
Photography credit: Darryl Ann Girardin – Salt & Pine Photo
Photography credit: Darryl Ann Girardin – Salt & Pine Photo
Photography Credit: Debra Bell – Bell’s Furry Friends Photography
Photography credit: Kate Harris Photography
Photography credit: Kate Harris Photography
Photography credit: Kate Harris Photography
Our last moments together. My baby you’ll always be.
We cannot thank the Dr. Keene and her staff at Veazie Vet Clinic and Dr. Cronin and her staff at the New England Veterinary Oncology Group (N.E.V.O.G) for everything they did for our baby. They gave us a precious year filled with love and memories. We cannot thank them enough. We also cannot forget to thank our families and friends who have had our continued support throughout this year and through the first days without her.
Matt and I are in the process of setting up a memorial fund through the Morris Animal Foundation for Zaida. Donations will go directly to helping find a cure for animal cancers, especially in dogs. We appreciate any donation you can make in our girl’s memory to help other animals who are going through the same courageous battle.
